Spritual Dilema?

Yesterday, we went to manila for our passport. We left early morning at about 6 AM we arrived at about 8 or so and we went to my mom’s friend who was working for DFA (Department of Foreign Affairs) to help us out processing the passport, we finished at around 12 PM and went to SM North Edsa Food court to eat. We stayed there until about 8 PM. What did we do there? Well, my mom’s had this meeting with her busines collegues there. I don’t know why there… The fun part there was where I got to go to Comics Alley (my favorite shop! :D) to look for new anime arrival stuff. I couldn’t find any nice thing to buy so I left the shop and went back down the food court. I had drunk 2 cups of brewed coffee, still, I was sleepy. I ate a lot of food too. 😀 You can’t blame me, the food was great and I had nothing to do… Sana nga lang, tumaba ang Euri 😀 :lol:!

I was with Bessy this afternoon (hey! I saw Chette at the mall! …with Philip!! crazy grin :D) I was helping her out to buy CHOC NUT!! She was funny! We searched all over just for that CHOC NUT. She said she wanted to eat chocolates but she can’t bite them because her braces were just recently adjusted so it’s still painful and the CHOC NUT is a soft chocolate to eat?? O_o

Yes, you could see me happy all day but I couldn’t understand myself. I’ve been weird lately. I don’t know what the heck’s wrong with me. I couldn’t sleep early, I’m always thinking of nothing at all, I look serious, easily irritated by anyone, etc… I don’t know… Whenever I see the Sto. Rosario church (near our school), I wanted to go in but when I’m about too, I just turned around, changed my mind and leave. If I would count how many times I tried to go to church, I only entered a church for about 5 times (this are different churches some at Binondo, Lourdes, and Sto rosaio parish churches). I went once to attend a wedding, once for a baptismal ceremony also, once to a mass because it is required, I attended one mass an a parade for a saint or prosisisyon (is this right?) as they call it because it is required also, and I entered the church only once of my own accord. I was with Noemi that day. She said she want a piece of mind there to get a way from family problems she always have. I took the invitation because of my curiosity of what was inside a church. Btw, just wanted to ask, what is the holy water for and why do thay need to put some on to their forehead? Anyway, continuing, that was the last time I went to church. I never did since then, I think it was three years ago?

Now that I think of it, naguguluhan pa rin ako… Ewan ko nga ba. I think, te Chette was right when she said I just needed the proper time. But, when is that proper time? What if that proper time never came? Will I survive this dilema? What will become of me after it? Will I regret my choice when it comes? Hay… ang dami ko namang tanong… Hindi ko talaga alam gagawin ko. Tapos na nga ko sa Eternal Dilema (personality and identity crisis) eh… Eto naman sumunod. I was living a not so good life before na hindi ko naman iniisip to. I’m still living in a not so good life and naguguluhan pa ko. Ano ba to!! Pero, kahit papano, nakakatulong din ‘tong blog sa’kin and the forums. People give me advices whenever I need one, reads whatever I write and even if people don’t read what I wrote, at least nailalabas ko diba? And I’m very thankful for that naman. Sana nga lang, matapos na ako dito. It was raining hard tonight. I better shut this off… Baka kung ano pang mangyari sa computer ko…

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