There was a time when someone asked me why I don’t get jealous. All I did was remain silent and never replied. But you know, in fact, I do. Who doesn’t, anyway? It’s just that I do not want to trouble myself telling people that I am. Even if I do, they can’t do anything for me anyway. Or maybe I was just making up this excuse to cover my abnormality. Where in reality, I’m a pretty possessive woman.
Most of the time, I don’t want other people’s attention. I hate it most when people notice me. But then, when it comes to people I care, I want them to stay with me always. I’m no better than a dog wagging it’s tail wanting attention and wanting to be pet. I think, wanting love is just normal. But trying everything to keep a person beside you always had gone way beyond the line and it’s quite pathetic. Yes, it is honest of me to say that I am indeed pathetic.
The one thing that I hate most hearing from someone are the words “I can’t breathe” due to my own possessiveness. I always feel like being chained but then I, myself, am also doing the same. With this in thought, I grew scared. I’m terribly frightened that I would lose someone for holding that person too tight. So I always ended up doing the wrong thing and to other people aside from myself, it always seemed as if I left that person hanging in the dark. But actually, all I can do is to keep myself in a corner and hide from the light full of despair.
Sometimes, it keeps me wondering how long would I stay this way.
14 Comments
OMG! You hit it bullseye! That’s how I am acting and thinking too. Sometimes it’s just so hard to fight possessiveness even though I know (when I’m in my good state of mind hehehe) the consequences of being jealous and possessive. It’s just that when pessimism and jealousy came to me, I lose my mind and I could no longer thought of the consequences that I begin to act immediately – even act before I think. Arrrrgggghhh!!! There were even times when I was praying that I’d be insensitive so that I won’t care about other people – especially those who are close to my heart.
yihee..
ehehe
-___-
pareho lang din
selosong patago din aq
nakow! naranasan ko na ‘yan. batsa, don’t own them and they’ll stay.
…hmm.. most people say that being possessive only brings the ones you love farther away.. but sometimes, it’s the only way to express love and/or affection. Driving them away will not always be the case, but they don’t stay forever, either. One thing we all have to understand is that this paradoxical aspect of life that is JEALOUSY (and of life itself) will always have twists and tricks that test us whether we’d falter or continue on.
As an afterthought: “being jealous means you love that person..” and.. I don’t think I’ve made much sense there. -_-‘
parehas tayo.. selosa din ako.. at may tendency din ako maging super possessive.. dati nagbreak talaga kami ng ex ko dahil sa ganyan ang ugali ko.. buti na lang kahit papano nabago ko yun kahit konti..
@ Arvin ~
Well, I didn’t own them and they still left me. How’s that?
Gah! Selosa! ๐
Jealousy turning saints into the sea… ๐
Anyhoo, I don’t know jack why your comment got eaten up or something by Blogger’s stupid server! Oh well, once idiots, always idiots! ๐
Hmm. Dati ganyan din ako e. Pero iniwan din ako. Kaya ngayon parang possessive na din ako kapag meron ako. ๐ Sa tingin ko kasi ganun pa rin kahit ano mangyari e. Hai. ๐
Ano bang masasabi ko dito? I fluctuate from being possesive and being quite loose. There are times when I am jealous, there are times when things are perfectly fine for me.
I can relate to this post, frankly speaking. I really like one of my closest girl friends for a while now, and I don’t want to lose her. But I’m feeling there’s going to be a possibility that my love will just bring her farther away from me. I don’t know what to do.
Confused guy right here. Haay. T_T
looks like I’m not alone.. ๐
i must say that i share same traits as u, like not bugging anyone whenever e feel jealous. ๐ also not that im brooding but i wanna keep my emotions to myself and process it alone. ๐
I’m not jealous but when I catch her in the act…
IT’S OVAH.