Father, please forgive me for I have sinned.
You know father, I love the fact I live near your church. At first, it’s nice because every 6am, I hear songs of praise. And since I’m a sucker for classics, church choirs songs are a a plus especially when you just woke up. They leave an ethereal feeling like I’m on drugs or something. But what makes them better is that mom’s stupid African birds are less annoying than they usually were. I’ve always thought of cooking them for breakfast. But killing is a sin and it would break my mom’s heart if I killed them all and break their feathers apart. Because she loves them and they cost too much.
But, you know, lately, for some reason, all I hear from morning ’til night are novenas and rosary prayers. To be blunt, I don’t like them. I don’t ass-fucking goddamn like hearing them. The fact that they recite the prayers in an incredible speed and uncomprehending lyrics, again and again, drives me fucking insane. I can’t concentrate with whatever things I’m doing like taking a crap or something. There had been several times within this day that I’ve imagined sinful thoughts like shooting them all dead or slitting the throat of the one holding the microphone and leading the prayer. And then, shower his blood to those lots holding rosaries and singing with him.
So father, if possible, please help me and drive these evil thoughts out of my head. Please try talking to them and tell them, “For the love of all things holy, SHUT THE FUCK UP PEOPLE! And PLEASE be considerate of those who live in the area.” Or else, I’ll really go insane and really do it. Really. Just so you know, I’m not trying to threaten you or anything, I just want let you know, we do keep a few samurais at home and I know where exactly they were kept. Please give me some real advice or something than a “be patient” because obviously, I’m running out of it. Oh and father, please don’t make me recite prayers too much. I hate repeating stuff.
And lastly, father, please tell the people reading this not to take me seriously because God made a flaw in creating our world. Of all things to make a flaw on, why did he not make our world idiot safe? Everywhere we go at anytime of any given day, there are bound to be people who can’t take jokes and are huge idiots. Please tell God to save them too.
So, yeah. That’s about all of it, father.
Amen.
22 Comments
LOL!
*applause*
Interesting…
Tell them that there’s no point in using a freaking microphone if their god is really omniscient.
joyfulchicken,
Well, I think they use the microphone so that the people would hear the priest saying:
And so the people will be able to reply with:
And it also adds more dramatic impact to God. So He would hear them better. 🙂
—
Oh, oh! These are my favorite parts of the mass:
And..
:3
FYI for everyone:
In fact, I graduated from a Catholic University, so it is not that odd that I knew these stuff. Stop staring at me. >.> Our teachers
forcedrequired us to memorize stuff from simple prayers down to the entire Eucharistic Liturgical Rite. I got scolded by the priest a few times (for reading Wiccan books – I was actually caught reading it) and I’m even a part of the mass choir too (even though I’m tone deaf – because no one wants to join). Sounds fun, isn’t it?naku eurisama, pagnakarinig ka pa ng pabasa!
lalo kang sasapian XDDD!!! ahahaha~
anywayz, AMEN <3
i kinda felt im watching a gore-anime… hehehe
Xian,
Nakarinig na ko ng pabasa. T^T Nung nakaraan Holy Week, nakalipat na kami nung eh. Tapos, yung dating bahay namin, bago kami lumipat, nasatabi kabilang kanto lang yung bakanteng lote kung san sila nagpapabasa. Pero enjoy din, kasi dun din sila pinapako. :3
glitch,
Uy, Blood the Last Vampire live action! Meron! Bago! =D
Hindi lang ako sure kung luma
so angry…
sundowndos,
Not angry. Just making fun of it in a creative way. =P
So much hate… ROFL
I live somewhat near a church as well (a street away approx) … the only sound i hear is the tower bells THANKFULLY x_x;; (you poor thing having to endure that mumbling rosary sound!), when i was small i always thought that old people muttering rosaries sounded like they were repeatedly saying “pssst psst pssss” over and over again xD
Move in with me and problem solved!
I agree…that must be annoying, especially when youre trying to sleep or concentrate! X_X
im pretty sure he heard your wish and forgives you for it and will do something about it :]
Tuna Caserole,
I’m hungry. Your name makes me even more hungry. >_<
Selo,
No thank you. I’m moving in to Kiatsu’s :3
yes ^_^ i sent an update form thingy on the jrock crew and linked it up under “exit” (=
You know the funny thing though? I live in front of a catholic church :p
You’re epic, Euri-chan, you are. LOL. I missed this blog.
Yay~ I’ll welcome you anytime~ *hugs*
oops i totally forgot to comment about the prayer~ XD Lol i so agree to you on that one~ want me to help to murder them? XD I’m all up for it right now heheheh~
I agree with this te’euri.. I have to question him too.. why the hell he created idiots? and sometimes I feel like I’m one of them.. but the sanity is different from insanity.. so I think, it’s all fair.We all have our own idiocy.
And samehere, laging may kumakanta sa simbahan malapit din kasi kami..lalo na kapag holy week.. 🙂
there you go again sis. I always love your creativity! Thumbs up for the interesting posts. 🙂