Everyday, form the moment I woke, I wondered painfully of it was all right for me to be by your side. I wondered if I was still qualified to walk in Your steps. But even as I wondered, I loved listening to hymns in Your praise. I loved watching the candlelight ceremony.
I’m sorry. God, I’m sorry. Because of me, there will be people who will question You. But I can accomplish the greatest atonement, they will probably cease their mouths. No one will ever dirty your name again.
There will be no compensation for disgracing You as I have. There will be no way to erase my sin. But still I wish that…
I’m sorry, God. Please grant me an execution.
For some reason, I grew fond of collecting suicide note. It’s such a waste to just keep them to myself, therefore, I thought of sharing them with you.
This note was taken from Diamond Head. Setsu e-mailed it to his best friend, before he jumped off the a building. After enough investigation, they found out that when Setsu moved with his parents to US, he couldn’t stand the emotional damage he was getting so he took drugs to forget them. Even when he returned to Japan, he was so addicted that his body craved for it no matter how he wanted to stop. Even so, he still wanted to stop.
It was after he died that they found out why they never see him attend masses even though he loves God more than anything. It was because he always stay hiding behind the altar in those times. Maybe because he never had any face left to face his creator.