You know how much I wanted to just die. How I wanted to free myself from these invisible chains that binds me so tight. These thin wrists had eventually numbed through time. I can no longer feel the pain no matter how much it bleeds through my struggling. This heart feels so heavy. Too much that I’m suffocating. I ran out of voice from screaming. Even still, I continue to scream silently. Even Hope has left my side. Thinking about it makes me feel so pathetic. It makes me want to slap myself of anger and at the same time, embrace myself of pity. I even wanted to end my life. It’s just that I do not want to be the to do it. It’s not that I do not have the courage to commit suicide. It’s just that I would feel even more pathetic when I do.
For how long will I bear this? For how long will I be able to?